After the 2009 month long snow freeze that trapped a lot of rural people in their houses for a month, I visited a friend who lived in an isolated house near our village. Farmers had brought her supplies. I asked what she had done for water (everything was frozen), how had she washed herself? I thought she said “I had Catholics”. So for years I talked about having a quick wash as “having a Catholic” whilst imagining a monk having a quick wash-up in his cold and gloomy cell. Seemed a good discription to me for washing with a flannel in a basin.
But no. She actually said “Cat Lick”. She had Cat Licks. Well, that’s OK by me. That’s pretty descriptive too.
But the one I really like, which I heard yesterday, was from my sister-in-law who had a dreadful fall in Africa. She broke a hip, which is now pinned, but she is in terrible pain. The African nurse comes in every morning since the pinning and says “Right. Now I’m going to give you a bird bath”.
That entices the mind to imagine the abandoned splashing of a joyful bird, cooling itself in dappled sunshine.
It’s the best audio error for a quick hospital bed wash I’ve heard so far.