In the early days of emojis there was no emoji representing a cigarette. I know because I smoked! 🚬
But now, probably because smoking will never be eradicated by the anti smoking totalitarians, we have Smoking Emojis.
How nice!
This emoji thing might become our new language. We should take it seriously maybe? I just sent our Furlong daughter a beating heart in a WhatsApp message. It suddenly occurred to me, it might be inappropriate as a symbol of concern and support for her.
So I looked up the meanings. A beating heart is OK.
I’m putting this link here so I can find it again on the Internet. It’s the best one I’ve found.
Optional emoji meditation for today follows…
What the faces mean…
I took Bass on the bus. We had to run like hell because three things delayed us.
I discovered it was raining and had to go home for my raincoat.
The neighbour wanted to chat.
Bass did a huge poo on the pavement close to home, so I bagged it, raced home and slung it into our garden.
Then we had to run for the bus. I noticed Bass didn’t mind.
It was Bass’s first time on a bus and he behaved impeccably.
Impeccably!
As all of us did, Bass-the-new-dog, ate too much over Christmas. He is not used to real food like chicken and roast potatoes. He eats kibble usually. He eats (supposedly) the very best kibble at an exorbitant cost.
We are getting to know Bass. Several weeks ago, he started licking the kitchen floor and when I let him out into our garden, he searched around for the one or two blades of grass that are there and ate them. We have no lawn thank God. He also licked stones and patio flags.
I immediately went onto the Internet. Such strange behaviour usually means dogs want to eat grass.
Dogs like eating grass.
Dogs eat grass to settle their stomachs (it is presumed).
After the Christmas binge, Bass licked the lounge cushion, the carpet, the kitchen floor. But I had the solution already worked out. I hooked dog up to the extension lead, took him through the back gate, to the field that lies behind our property. There is grass on the field. It’s a field after all!
He ate grass. He ate a lot of grass.
I have not seen it either vomited up or poo’ed out so I don’t know where it has gone. But his dyspepsia – or whatever it is that makes dogs eat grass, is cured.
New-dog-Bass, is a funny fella. He is great in every way except for leaping on visitors with love and devotion.
I’ve been trying to keep the two separated. Its harrowing.
Last night we had our annual neighbours bash. Its a bit of a do we have on the Saturday before Christmas. Only our immediate neighbours come. So I shut Bass in the bedroom with my voice droning on YouTube and his Kong filled with peanut butter, his bed, and his favourite toys.
He barked.
And he barked.
I implored everyone to ignore it. But Mr Furlong said “Bring him out on a lead” so I did.
I am training Bass “down” means down on stomach. Down and stay! “Down” is what everyone yells when he jumps on them. Bass is confused. The Internet tells me to yell “Sit!” at the jumping moment.
Last night was a triumph. We had a lounge full of dog people (people that like dogs). I explained the language difficulty and within minutes Bass was sitting for a petting rather than lurching onto laps. People passed him round. At the first sign of a leap, they said “sit” and pushed his butt down.
And he sat cuddled close to their legs and had his ears rubbed. He had a heavenly evening. Everyone was training him in exactly the same way.
It was the best thing for us. The dog got the message!
It must have been okay for our guests too, because they stayed a long time.
Today we are getting a delivery from Amazon. It’s called a Snail Sakk
Bass has developed a new hobby.
He chews up our mail.
It will also stop our mailbox clattering in the wind at which point, several times a day, we are deafened by the dog rushing to the door, thinking there’s a mail delivery and wanting to claim his prize, and telling us how exciting it is by barking.
The new-dog-Bass has a problem staying home alone. It’s not separation anxiety. He doesn’t chew curtains or pace about howling. He’s not agitated, he’s pissed off that we didn’t take him with us too.
So he scrabbles at the door and barks.
Someone at swimming told me what they do with their dogs. They put them to bed as if it were night.
So, that is our solution. We have a night ritual we do before we all turn in. So we do that at eleven am, or two o’clock in the afternoon, whatever. New-dog-Bass retires to bed in my darkened bedroom in the bed he sleeps in in our lounge every night. We tell him “Goodnight” and I turn off the light. Mr Furlong and I cheerily call “Goodnight” to each other, and close the door.Â
Each time we have gone out, I have left videos playing on my tablet, not so they can be seen, but so they can be heard. I have tried sheep baa-ing with summer birds calling. I have tried my own voice reading a book which is on a YouTube channel.Â
I don’t know which the dog prefers because the moment we close the door, there is total silence (I record every time). There is no barking, scrabbling or snuffling under the door. There is a lovely, divine silence.
Now I don’t know what he actually does, because in the dark, I can’t film him. But he does lie on my pillow on my bed, waiting. That could be snoozing, or it could be like Anubis watching the door. New-dog-Bass does a very good Anubis simulation. Every time Mr Furlong goes out without us, Anubis waits and watches. If Mr Furlong takes a very long time, Anubis curls up into a more comfy position I’ve noticed.
I think the indentation on my pillow looks more like a nest rather than a plinth.
So we have cracked it! I’m telling you all, because it might help someone else who has to leave their dogs at home alone….
I have come to the conclusion that forces much greater than us, are in control of Brexit. “They” do not want Brexit, period.
So every way “they” can mangle it is being employed. We have watched two years of politicians behaving badly. And a Parliament playing a vicious tug of war before our eyes. They have abused the people of Britain with fear mongering and wild guesses dripping from the lips of arrogant “experts” who think they know.
We are a shameful example to the rest of the world who have modelled their Parliaments on ours. And an example of how democracy can be manipulated to fit any agenda imposed on it.Â
Tonight, Theresa May may be voted out, or may be voted in. Whatever happens, to me, it is just another manoeuvre to delay Brexit which we may or may not get…
Don’t hold your breath! Nothing’s going to change…”they” know what they are doing….
The Last Furlong 