Really, Amazon takes the cake! Having recently purchased really boring stuff and fun stuff from Amazon, The Furlongs are getting emails from Amazon imploring us to buy from them.
The emails say “You might be interested in this” with the photo of the very thing we just bought from them!
Are they completely daft?
Mr Furlong recently bought eight castors.
The email today is asking if Mr Furlong is interested in buying eight castors (with photos of recent purchase attatched).
What the hell is Mr Furlong going to do with sixteen castors?
I bought a wristband recorder. Today I got an email offering me the recorder I DIDN’T choose.
No thank you Amazon. Why on earth do we want to buy duplicates of things we already bought?
FFS.
The Last Furlong 
Mar 14, 2017 at 15:28
Yeah Amazon’s ‘helpful suggestions’ can be a bit weird at times but for full on ‘whacko-sailing off the edge of this world’ try the Tesco Home Delivery ‘substitutions’ . If I order a drink packed with sugar how likely am I to want it substituted with the lame Sugar Free variant ? And that’s one of the more ‘harmless’ or ‘somehow makes sense’ ones. Every Tesco driver has horror stories of more ‘surreal’ examples. Like the lady who ordered a packet of sanitary towels and was sent a bloody steak. If you email Customer Services they’ll blame it on the ‘metrics’ of the picker computers because apparently they suggest to the pickers what other customers have bought instead of tampax or Always…I for one didn’t know modern women preferred the feel of raw meat instead of ‘cotton softness with wings’…can’t be very absorbent i would have thought …almost ‘object defeating’ even. But what do I know, I am neither a tesco computer nor a female?
My main ‘beef’ with Amazon is simply that they never miss a trick in trying to con you into their ‘Prime’ for FREE of course. Everyone I meet seems to have been suckered and then wondered why Amazon were taking money from their account every month thereafter. Also the way they treat their workers annoys me, working in an Amazon warehouse is no fun…the term ‘slave driver’ gets over-used these days but in their case…
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Mar 14, 2017 at 15:35
Or as Aged Mother said when I relayed the driver anecdote about the tampax/steak substitution “Tescos-putting the ‘bunny’ back into ‘bunny rag’…assuming it was rabbit steak” (She is of an age were such things were called ‘bunny rags’, the 50s I believe…the 1850s probably).
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Mar 14, 2017 at 16:08
Very funny.
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Mar 14, 2017 at 17:20
Not.
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Mar 14, 2017 at 18:35
“Not”
I’m not sure it was meant to be. I, long ago, gave up trying to work out how Aged Mother intended her quips and bon mots- her being from the 50s and somewhere on the autism scale makes things difficult.
As it was but a few years ago I can still recall my surprise when I first heard her use the ‘F word’ (not sure how LF feels about adult language)….and she made a quip about not minding the length of the paint roller I had just handed her but ‘feel the width’. Fortunately I didn’t have cigarette in my mouth at the time otherwise I’m sure it would have fallen into the bucket of spirit.
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Mar 14, 2017 at 16:00
I Love Amazon. I don’t care if they sent me details of stuff I am never going to want.
I received three watches, in sequence, none of which worked, but the service was really good, and I didn’t have to send any of them back. I just need to get the backs off and change the batteries and I’ve got watches for life. They refunded my money.
However, I have discovered, “Second Hand” or “Occasion” in France. It just means that the package has been opened. Got a great Slow Cooker with 10 Pounds off. And a Kettle from Amazon France with 10 Euros off.
I ordered Cannabis Oil today from Amazon France. Very good for creaking joints, or so I am told. It arrives tomorrow, livraison gratuite.
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Mar 14, 2017 at 16:07
Do you rub it on or drink it? The oil. I mean. How’s doggus doggus?
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Mar 14, 2017 at 17:18
You drink it. At least I hope you do. I could be wrong about this, in which case I could be in trouble.
I am just wondering about how to stop my son smoking it. I can’t afford to support his habit as well as mine.
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Mar 14, 2017 at 18:23
Vaping is cheaper.
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Mar 14, 2017 at 18:26
But nowhere near as much fun.
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Mar 14, 2017 at 16:47
“I for one didn’t know modern women preferred the feel of raw meat instead of ‘cotton softness with wings’…can’t be very absorbent i would have thought …almost ‘object defeating’ even. But what do I know, I am neither a tesco computer nor a female?”
I gather you’ve never watched Divine doing her grocery shopping in an John Waters film to the lovely strains of “Sometimes a Girl Can’t Help It, She Just Can’t Help It…”
🙂
MJM
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Mar 14, 2017 at 17:00
No, I haven’t. Should I?
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Mar 14, 2017 at 17:16
Hmmm…. depends on your taste in films, but I think I’d be safest NOT recommending it. LOL! The high point of Waters’ “Pink Flamingos” occurs near the end when Divine (a 350 pound transvestite) follows a poodle around waiting for it to poop and then consumes the results.
The steak reference refers to her buying the steak in the market, stepping behind some groceries, and then placing the steak someplace where it will be well-marinated as she dances through the aisles to the tune.
Hmm… actually, my memory may be defective. Here’s the clip of Divine shopping to the tune of “Juvenile Delinquent”
and then, immediately after that, you’ll see a clip of her walking along to “A Girl Can’t Help it”
Here’s a short excerpt of someone much more attractive than Divine as she walks along to a brief excerpt of “A Girl Can’t Help It” in a more traditional movie:
🙂
MJM
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Mar 14, 2017 at 18:21
Generally ugg. I don’t care how seminal Pnk Flamingos was. Look at the society my generation is responsible for! We ought to be ashamed. It’s a profound pity. Glad I only saw Deep Throat and Caligula! Pink Flamingos passed me by.
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Mar 14, 2017 at 18:40
I was just out of college when a lady friend (who was a nurse and somewhat more open minded than my still “recovering from 16 years of Catholic School” mode) took me to see a midnight showing of Pink Flamingos at a dark and run-down looking theater.
I only made it through the first quarter or so of the movie, at which point a very smelling guy in a trenchcoat and beat-up fedora type hat somehow dropped his hat and went diving around for it down around my feet. At that point, THOROUGHLY freaked out by the whole experience I grabbed my laughing lady-friend’s hand and pulled her out of the theater.
LOL!
:>
MJM
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Mar 14, 2017 at 20:05
Good escape I reckon!
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