The Last Furlong

Comments on the race of life.

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Better early, than late

When I was young, I was always late. One day, after being late for a lecture, again, the lecturer called me aside at the end of the lecture. He said “I just want to tell you that being late is a serious habit. You not only change your own Karma, you change the Karma of OTHERS!”

I was shocked. The idea that I was impacting so seriously on others had never crossed my mind.

From then on, my lateness was cured.

Lots of people I know are habitually late. I dislike lateness. I see punctuality as a mark of honour.

Being late causes negative repercussions. People lose jobs, friends, trust, opportunities, busses,  partners, cooperation, places. Life gets dirty as they scrabble about feeling apologetic and grovelling to you with excuses.

Punctuality really is a virtue.

And it pays off.

Being punctual means you never have to feel stressed. You arrive at places, emotionally collected. In order. Serene.

Being habitually late is sloppy.

But, worse, it makes no one feel good. Least of all, oneself.

Kids do late. My grandson missed his bus TO the town so his Mum had to give him a lift. And then, he missed his bus BACK. So she gave him a lift back.

Grandsons are a different generation….they listen to this kind of stuff. So maybe he thinks ‘late’ is cool!


The dog and the pacemaker

My last post was about how our dog was so desperate to get to our poor guest, that he barked incessantly and desperately tried to LUUV the poor chap.

It was only when I asked what it could be that had altered our friend’s vibes since we last saw him, that our guest revealed he had just had a pacemaker fitted.

He had, literally only just had a pacemaker fitted. He was wearing the hospital dressing over the wound and was careful not to lift his arm.

I think the dog knew our guest was “wounded”. He knew it by smell.

If Mr Furlong or I have “wounded” ourselves, we have a job to stop Bass from licking us better!

I researched whether pacemakers emit sound. They don’t seem to. The latest pacemakers can transmit information, even over a phone, but dogs don’t seem distressed by our routers or mobile phones and those transmit data all the time.

So I think our dog knew our friend was wounded. He was doing his best to let us know.

However, there are many many stories of cats and pacemakers. They know. A cat has a purring healing mechanism so they lie on their pacemakered humans. Cats are masters of hearing. Maybe they hear the heartbeat?

There don’t seem to be accounts of dogs doing the same.

Dogs however, are masters of smell. I think our dog Bass smelled a wounded man….

Don’t you?


Unappealing dog

Our dog Bass, is not what you could call an appealing dog in a fluffy, smiling, waggy tail, puppy kind of way.

He doesn’t do hugs. He’s not fluffy. He’s black and tan with pokey feet that hurt you if he jumps on you. He’s over friendly, over excitable and there’s not an aggressive molecule in his body.

He LUUUVS everyone.

Too much.

Yesterday, I could have killed him, found another home for him, returned him to the Animal Rescue Centre.

Yesterday we had visitors. Two men. They have been here before. They are not strangers. But the damn dog focused on one and barked, and barked and barked.

And barked.

The barking wouldn’t stop even though the dog was sitting in his own place, tethered by a lead next to me. He seemed desperate to get to our poor visitor to show him his LUUUV.

I ended up smacking his muzzle on every bark. After I bribed him. After I cajoled. After I begged. After I pleaded. Then I took him to another room where I shut him in. He then barked to come out.

He’s a small dog with an ear deafening bark like an Alsation.

It was an awkward visit. LOUD. We had no explanation, only apologies. It had never hapenned before.

Eventually, when the barking from the bedroom ceased, Mr Furlong rescued Bass. And I asked our guests what had happened to them before they arrived. What vibes were around them? What was different now to what was before? What could be triggering our very stupid dog?

“Oh”, says the barking victim, “I just had a Pacemaker fitted. Do you think it could be that? “

I do indeed.

What do you think?


Red leather yellow leather

We did enjoyable things when I was a child that stick in my mind today. Kids still do them.

One I was reminded of recently, was watching kids running into each other in a park. One boy shouted “peb erp” “peb erp” to request his way through. I thought “peb erp” was an African saying. What does it mean? It’s a car hooting!

We did that seventy years ago. Yet I heard it again on the green in a British town.

Our family were proud of the British. We lived British lives in Africa. In fact, we were more British than the actual British. We were English.

We grew up listening to Dickens. We weren’t allowed to say “OK” or swear or chew bubblegum because that was “American”. We learned proper English and pronunciation.

We fell about laughing saying tongue twisters.

Round and round the rock, the ragged rascal ran.

The Lieth police dismisseth us.

And the best…

Red leather yellow leather.

Nowadays I find it very useful.

I check if I’ve had a stroke or not by repeating it!

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Cereal killer

Some people are better at spelling than others. Spelling is a skill that can be improved at any time. Somehow, if people can spell, and write, and pronounce a word properly when talking, they reveal more than just their thoughts.

Here in the UK, it’s election time. We have a young female politician who drops all her “t’s”. She talks about vo-ing for voting, wai-ing for waiting, Bri-ain for Britain etc. So I presume, because of that, she has no idea that in English we sound the “t”. That leads me to wondering if she knows anything about other important things, like His-ory or Poli-ics.

I learned to spell better, whilst teaching. I’ve had a few good laughs. Once a parent sent an excuse note that her Johnny was absent because of the “flew”. And once in a History essay, that the general and his men tethered their “hores” to trees.

But recently on Quora where I read and write, someone described a person as being a “Cereal killer”. I took that to mean that the chap in question downed huge portions of Rice Crispies, Wheatabix, Cornflakes, or simply bowls and bowls of oats porridge!

Spelling can truly stimulate the imagination….

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Well trained humans

The Furlong dog has been with us for over a year now.

He is far the best dog we have ever had as regards human-training.

He is an absolutely dedicated human-trainer.

If it’s food time, it has to be the same time daily. But now we have changed the clocks, it’s still Summer time for him.

Walking time used to be eleven in the morning.

Lunch used to be at noon.

Supper used to be at four-o’clock, but now it’s at three.

Bedtime is used to be at ten, but now it’s at nine.

He gets a Kong with a bit of peanut butter in it after the last wee. He is insisting he gets it at nine now, instead of the old ten o’ clock.

And when he is in his nest (Chihuahua’s sleep in nests, did you know?) before lights out, he insists on having his teeth cleaned before the rest of us have cleaned ours or even got into our jimjams.

His servants are rebelling without much success. We are attempting to keep to new time. Winter time. But when it’s getting dark and gloomy at three, you cannot convince a dedicated human-trainer that it is not four o’clock already. We have started watching late movies on the telly to flummox our master. And going to bed/walking/ having luncheon at a different time.

Thank God Bass-the-dog is a very late sleeper, so his servants are allowed long lie-ins in the mornings…..

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Mischief night?

Here, in the north of England, the BBC has been reporting thousands of acts of vandalism in Manchester and other towns on “Mischief Night”.

What is this “Mischief Night?

Never heard of it.

Mischief Night

Some bright spark has tried to hook Halloween to being Mischief Night?

Halloween is an imported event and not “British”, so there are those who are uncomfortable with Halloween. But the British”Mischief Night”?

It’s worse surely?

British yoof will take it literally. Their idea of mischief is to trash cars, buildings, set fire to things and attack fire engines.

And they did.

But wait!

We’ve got what is now called “Bonfire Night” coming up on the 5th of November. That used to be the very British “Guy Fawkes”.

The yoof can go crackers (pun) again and terrorise pets, people and fire engines.

They’ll enjoy that….

Mischief Night is also linked to Bonfire night…..

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Much ado about something making money for someone

This is the Day of the Dead, All Hallows, and Samhain commercialised. Doesn’t belong in the UK. Makes me steam!

Image result for halloween gif

Happy Halloween anyway…….

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No Halloween, but we’ve got Friday the 13th instead…

I believe in the old days, like the Second World War, the leaders consulted weather experts, phases of the moon, astrological predictions and even psychics before large events like invasions. They chose auspicious dates. Even the 11th hour, on the 11th day, of the 11th month seemed thoughtful.

Currently everyone in public is virtue signalling with red poppies significantly displayed, getting ready for Armistice Day.

But phases of the moon affecting thought, or astrological and psychic predictions have been tossed out in the modern culture of scientism. And weather predictions are about as reliable as they were in the War.

Instead, Brexit was planned for Halloween, and the election results will be out on Friday 13th of December….

Without any astrological knowledge, or psychic abilities, I can see there is something weirdly off about choosing those dates.

Furthermore, the Full Moon for December 2019 rises on the 12th!

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Our internet connection crashed at two o’clock last Friday. Our provider said BT (British Telecommunications) was working on the line. It would probably come right at knock off time, they suggested.

Well, it didn’t.

So they raised a fault,

The git that disconnected us on Friday, must have remembered on Monday morning when he came back to work, for at exactly 8:09 this morning, he reconnected us again.

When I reported this to our provider, they laughed and said “Yes, that happens – more than you know!”

Well, we didn’t find it funny.

I hope they cancelled the fault request…..