The Last Furlong

Comments on the race of life.

God stuff and shit you didn’t know

2 Comments

If this offends you – tough shit! Tweet your complaint to #thoughtsandprayers

But I found it quite funny.

And smiling improved my pain…..

Religions of the World

TAOISM                                          Shit Happens

HARE KRISHNA                          Shit happens, Rama, Rama, Ding, Ding

HINDUISM                                    This Shit Happened Before

ISLAM                                              If Shit Happens, take a hostage

ZEN                                                  What is the sound of Shit Happening?

BUDDHISM                                 If Shit Happens, is it really Shit?       

CONFUCIANISM                         Confucius say “Shit Happens”

7th DAY ADVENTIST                  Shit Happens on Saturdays

PROTESTANTANISM                 Shit won’t Happen if I work harder

CATHOLICISM                              If Shit Happens, I deserve it.

JEHOVAH’S WITNESS               “Knock, Knock, Shit Happens”

UNITARIAN                                   What is this Shit?

MORMON                                      Shit Happens, again and again and again.

JUDAISM                                        Why does this Shit always Happen to me?

RASTAFARIANISM                     Let’s smoke this Shit.

 

God Opens Twitter Account To More Easily Check On Thoughts And Prayers

In a sign he is adapting to the digital age, God today opened a Twitter account to allow him to follow #thoughtsandprayers directly.

Previously God had to wait for people to actually pray to him before he knew what they wanted. But Twitter offered a way to circumvent the out-dated process, saving time at both ends, a spokesperson said.

“God can now just click on a hashtag and then download all outstanding prayer requests in seconds. In this busy modern age, that’s very handy,” the spokesperson said.

The new system wasn’t perfect, the spokesperson admitted, with someone having to sort through which prayers were for God and which were for Allah and other gods. “There’s always going to be teething issues with a new process like this. But we’re working with the other gods to set up a really efficient system that works for everyone,” he said.

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Author: thelastfurlong

I'm someone also pounding the Path, just like you.. I'm retired, going into Old Age and loving my life. I'm hoping to remain happy and well for as long as possible. Old Age is not SO bad - yet!

2 thoughts on “God stuff and shit you didn’t know

  1. In a surprise move today, lawyers Gorgon & Slayer issued a writ for compensation against @JehovaLordOfHeaven&Earth for historic child abuse and hate crimes. R/T #Sons&DaughtersOf Amalekites

    Liked by 1 person

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