The Last Furlong

Comments on the race of life.

Relying on God


The basic need in life – the Internet

Last time we came to France, there was internet in our apartment. But now there is none as apart from us, no one is going to use, or has used the flat more or less the whole year, It’s not worth it to pay thirty to forty Euros every month for something that no one is using.

So, everything is perfection.

Except it’s not.

Mr Furlong and I are not readers.

Mr Furlong and I are heavy internet users. At home in our little flat in the UK, we have the fastest and best unlimited broadband service provided to us from a business server we used when we ran a business. We never left them, even though we are retired.

So here, in the perfection of everything else, it’s hell!

Life begins with the internet.

Mr Furlong says “I wonder if….?” I say “Don’t bother, we’ll never find out – no internet”.

Mr Furlong says ”I wonder how to….?” I say “Don’t bother, we’ll never find out – no internet”.

Mr Furlong says “ How do you say that in French?” I say “Don’t bother, we’ll never find out – no internet”.

We have to go around the free wiffi spots here to do whatsapp on our smartphones which go blank in the bright light and take photos on them which are “point and miss” or “point and guess”. I like smartphones for indoors only! Otherwise they are terrible things.

The best place for internet access is down in the valley at MacDonald’s – in the dark corner of the ultra-modern, soulless shop with high tech touch screen stands where aliens have removed all staff to outer galaxies and robots deliver the coffees and foods.

Although our server has freed our phones for France, we are in what they call the Maritime Alps aka bloody high mountains. The towns here are called “perched villages” because they are all built on the TOPS of mountains! In Roman and Medieval times the population liked to see people coming and while the enemy was slogging up the mountains they could prepare boiling oil and cow shit and other weapons. They never thought about future technology. So we can’t get a signal. The locals here say no one gets a good signal – or did they say any signal? – and the only place is on the parking lot under the church and if you walk about waving your phone, it might send a text!

I believe that God, living in the church there, might look down on his poor subjects in internet-absence-hell, and send the damn text for them!


Author: Elizabeth

I'm someone also pounding the Path, just like you.. I'm retired, going into Old Age and loving my life. I'm hoping to remain happy and well for as long as possible. Old Age is not SO bad - yet!

3 thoughts on “Relying on God

  1. I feel your pain. Really i do. I now won’t voluntarily won’t stay anywhere without either a good wifi connection signal or at least 3G. Which, when you think it about it, says something about those of us who grew up in dark ages when saying ‘googling’ would have gotten us a clip round the ear from our Dads -on the assumption it was something rude!

    Me myself I have gotten so bad that all that is important to me when I’m out is that I HAVE a connection to the internet. Not necessarily using it but having it there should I need it. Like this morning, I was babysitting at Youngest Dwarf’s from 06:00-09:30…don’t think I checked my phone once the whole time but knew that if I had wanted to then I could….or rather I would have gotten Granddaughter (not quite 2) to do it for me cos she gets on with swype far better than i do…even if that means I then have a memory card full of Mr Fumbles and Fuckle Puckle from Night Garden.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fuckle Puckle? Good God. I think I’ll stick to Google. Not that we even had Television, yesterday when I was young. Charles Aznavour.
      But I know how it feels to be completely cut off. I don’t think I’ll be going there again.


      • Actually the ‘real’ names are : “iggle piggle”

        and Mr.Tumbles- who takes dumbed-down-creepy to levels previously not seen on Children’s Hour.

        Oh Dillon The Rabbit where are you in this, your country’s darkest hour? Paging Noggin The Nog. Oh Mr Major , Sir ,they’ve even ‘redone’ The Clangers and Max is besides himself about Brexit. Hugh, Pugh, Barney aren’t at all happy either and Windy Miller is back on the scrumpy after just one episode ‘Bobski the Eastern European illegal worker’

        Liked by 1 person

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