The basic need in life – the Internet
Last time we came to France, there was internet in our apartment. But now there is none as apart from us, no one is going to use, or has used the flat more or less the whole year, It’s not worth it to pay thirty to forty Euros every month for something that no one is using.
So, everything is perfection.
Except it’s not.
Mr Furlong and I are not readers.
Mr Furlong and I are heavy internet users. At home in our little flat in the UK, we have the fastest and best unlimited broadband service provided to us from a business server we used when we ran a business. We never left them, even though we are retired.
So here, in the perfection of everything else, it’s hell!
Life begins with the internet.
Mr Furlong says “I wonder if….?” I say “Don’t bother, we’ll never find out – no internet”.
Mr Furlong says ”I wonder how to….?” I say “Don’t bother, we’ll never find out – no internet”.
Mr Furlong says “ How do you say that in French?” I say “Don’t bother, we’ll never find out – no internet”.
We have to go around the free wiffi spots here to do whatsapp on our smartphones which go blank in the bright light and take photos on them which are “point and miss” or “point and guess”. I like smartphones for indoors only! Otherwise they are terrible things.
The best place for internet access is down in the valley at MacDonald’s – in the dark corner of the ultra-modern, soulless shop with high tech touch screen stands where aliens have removed all staff to outer galaxies and robots deliver the coffees and foods.
Although our server has freed our phones for France, we are in what they call the Maritime Alps aka bloody high mountains. The towns here are called “perched villages” because they are all built on the TOPS of mountains! In Roman and Medieval times the population liked to see people coming and while the enemy was slogging up the mountains they could prepare boiling oil and cow shit and other weapons. They never thought about future technology. So we can’t get a signal. The locals here say no one gets a good signal – or did they say any signal? – and the only place is on the parking lot under the church and if you walk about waving your phone, it might send a text!
I believe that God, living in the church there, might look down on his poor subjects in internet-absence-hell, and send the damn text for them!