We assume having a baby is wonderful – happiness assured. I found it really difficult I did not enjoy it at all. I was handicapped with a husband who did nothing to help me – zilch, zero, nothing. He loved his children – really – but wanted them clean, quiet and convenient. And I was the mug that tried to make it so, at the expense of MY health. In the end, I realised my life would be easier if I just reared my children myself, because that is what I was doing anyway. And HE was just another bother. Going it alone was very hard, but at least I was released from the irritation of feeling resentment each time I got to exhaustion point.
I only realised how beautiful a time it could be, when I had a baby with a man who pulled his weight, and more, he took me on with the burden of some other man’s kids. I salute and thank you Mr Furlong.
A new study about German parents, shows that not all of them think having a new baby is a fuzzy fun time either. And presumably, being modern parents, they help each other as parents should.
“On average, new parenthood led to a 1.4 unit drop in happiness. That’s considered very severe.
To put things in perspective, previous studies have quantified the impact of other major life events on the same happiness scale in this way: divorce, the equivalent of a 0.6 “happiness unit” drop; unemployment, a one-unit drop; and the death of a partner a one-unit drop.”